CATULLUS 115
Big Dick has forty acres of green fields,
thirty of meadows. Quite a lot of marsh.
Not Croesus then, if we are being harsh.
Still it’s rich land. He harvests what it yields.
And if his lands stretched to the Western Sea,
beyond the North Wind – forests, rivers, streams
all his, and wealth beyond his wildest dreams,
He’d not be changed by such prosperity
In his erect colossal shade, we call
praise to his name, the Biggest Dick of all.
glamourousrags 
I wonder if this is where the Life of Brian “Biggus Dickus” thing comes from?
More the other way round, actually. The original talks of Mentula, which is straightforwardly slang for the penis. This epigram is aimed at Mamurra, whose name isn’t all that like Mentula, though I imagine that – reading it aloud – Catullus would affect a slight stutter on the opening M to make the point. (Mamurra was one of Caesar’s officers and one of Catullus’ regular targets.)
I thought of Python and the way to do an equivalent became obvious…
OK, right. Thanks!
A real Big Swinging Dick;)