Sometimes Catullus is an utter dick

I’m giving you the Latin as well so you can see that he really is as bad as all that here. Entitled rich boy complaining about the friendzone just as if he was here right now…


Aufillena, bonae semper laudantur amicae:
accipiunt pretium, quae facere instituunt.
tu, quod promisti, mihi quod mentita inimica es,
quod nec das et fers saepe, facis facinus.
aut facere ingenuae est, aut non promisse pudicae,
Aufillena, fuit: sed data corripere
fraudando officiis, plus quam meretricis auarae
quae sese toto corpore prostituit.

Aufillena, there’s girls I love and praise,
I give them presents and they come across
Put out a bit. I’m really at a loss.
It isn’t fair at all. So many ways

you’ve got things out of me, so often teased
with hints you’d soon deliver and be nice.
It’s a transaction and I’ve paid your price.
I hoped we had a deal, thought you were pleased.

Some girls are chaste, and that’s all right with me,
they’re not part of this game that we have played.
But rules are rules – you broke them, I’m afraid
that bit by bit you’ve sold your chastity.

Give me good value like an honest whore
and fuck me senseless. I’ll respect you more.


About rozkaveney

Middleaged, trans, novelist, poet, activist
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One Response to Sometimes Catullus is an utter dick

  1. gonzo21 says:

    Gosh, unquestionably the douchiest Catullus I’ve ever read. And yes, as you say, so insanely relevant today. Sounds like the battle hymn of so many online ‘nice’ boys whinging.

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